Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.

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(408): View more from California

his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(508): View more from Massachusetts

Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?

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(407): View more from Florida

I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.

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(812): View more from Indiana

The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age

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(425): View more from Washington

The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.

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(916): View more from California

Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!

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