I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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