youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?