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• (510): View more from California

  just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?

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• (361): View more from Texas

  Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won

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• (716): View more from New York

  Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.

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• 

  25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (209): View more from California

  She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Well now I have my semen on her headphones

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.

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• 

  These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.

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• (310): View more from California

  I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies

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