wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"