Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure

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  (408): I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure http://tfl.nu/8j71
  Replies (28) Good night (466) Bad night (1676)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos

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  (630): I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos! (317): Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto? (630): Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos http://tfl.nu/vb21
  Replies (20) Good night (2582) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere

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  (858): Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere http://tfl.nu/0d9e
  Replies (10) Good night (3806) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  then she stuck her tongue in my ass

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?

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  (515): then she stuck her tongue in my ass (1-515): I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her? http://tfl.nu/wzc5
  Replies (18) Good night (3755) Bad night (2084)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.

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  (765): Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug. http://tfl.nu/xwvw
  Replies (11) Good night (1138) Bad night (3687)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.

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  (904): Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience. http://tfl.nu/i4o0
  Replies (5) Good night (1874) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic

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  (570): please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic http://tfl.nu/e8z4
  Replies (5) Good night (574) Bad night (2137)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits

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  (860): Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits http://tfl.nu/8x16
  Replies (8) Good night (1006) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.

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  (914): I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot. http://tfl.nu/25dg
  Replies (9) Good night (1014) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.

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  (973): The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave. http://tfl.nu/0jfg
  Replies (2) Good night (446) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.

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  (519): People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style. http://tfl.nu/g3nw
  Replies (3) Good night (1105) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"

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  (831): I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy" http://tfl.nu/ej7w
  Replies (2) Good night (515) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...

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  (417): I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him... http://tfl.nu/ae62
  Replies (2) Good night (226) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?

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  (585): AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!? http://tfl.nu/66pr
  Replies (1) Good night (462) Bad night (205)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams

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  (440): Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams http://tfl.nu/en8l
  Replies (1) Good night (210) Bad night (632)

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