So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I had to cum in my sink.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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