i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
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He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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