Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
