I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
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Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
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I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
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He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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