By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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