If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
