Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
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His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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