There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
