just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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