sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
