Can i not drive my cunt home
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
