Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
