Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
