I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize