About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
