I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
