Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize