When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
