brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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