I just threw up on my dentist
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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