I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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