I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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