Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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