Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
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watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
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So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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