You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
