I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
