he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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