Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
