yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
