Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
