Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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