there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
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If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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