Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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