Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
