3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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