found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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