My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
