i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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