I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
