I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
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They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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