they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
