her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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