a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
