Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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