Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
