saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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