If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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