so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
