i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
