He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
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I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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