Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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