Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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