I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
