no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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