Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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