We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
