I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
