i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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